Monday, December 11, 2006

Fun: A work in progress

One hell of a trip to Walt Disney World. Notes along the way...

The big landmark castle was almost constantly being fussed with by a giant crane. I think Mickey has a more concerted rebuilding plan than the morons in charge of the World Trade Center rebuilding effort.

The mirth was obvious and abounding. And so forth. Janice's head looks very funny while adorned this way.

It's a shmoopie sandwich, and Pooh's the meat! We ate at so-called character breakfasts as often as we could rob other families of their reservations, and were usually the only childless folks in the house. That made us the only people in the room who still have sex and piles of that cash we "childless-by-choice" folks use to promulgate abortions on teenagers.

At the same breakfast: this portly dude behind my pumpkin-like cranium was awesome -- he was traveling solo, about 40 years old, with a shock of white hair, and each day we saw him he was wearing a different New Wave tee; first Depeche Mode, then the Smiths, and so on. We named him "Evan."

When I misbehave, I get pilloried for all to see in the center of town. Consequently, I must also put the lotion in the basket, or I get the hose again.

Taking a break with my imaginary improv pipe, waiting for my steamboat to pull in.

Our favorite place, the closest thing there is to church for godless bastards -- Space Mountain.

Taking aim at passers-by outside of Tom Sawyer's fort...

"Oh, hi! You've caught me in the middle of an assassination!"

Things were going great during the meet and greet under the Ewok village until...

I must have said something to tick the Lord of the Sith off, because he got a little frisky with me.

The wife was pulled out of the crowd at Epcot the participate in a little wacky street theatre with the Brits.

The nightly parade was wicked... how do they do this twice a night?

Central Florida isn't a very Jewey place to begin with, I realize, but this was the ONLY bit of recognition that there are other faiths on planet Earth.

The "Fantasmic" show, 25 minutes of special effects like broadcasting movies onto waterfalls and setting a lake on fire. On fire?! It's water for chrissakes... how do that do that?

Hanging out on the roofdeck of the Contemporary, watching fireworks from 20 stories above.

Expedition Everest, a fairly awesome new coaster at the Animal Kingdom. Foreground: the man who rides it.

Janice finally made a monkey out of me.

Why come back home? Life on the dying world is only bearable so long as I have a belly full of Haribo gummies and a Splash Mountain fastpass in my hand. Someone feed me some sleeping pills and applesauce! I'm coming home, Marshall Applewhite! Where are my black Nike high-tops?