Duffer

Oh, you should've seen the way I was hitting the ball last weekend! I started off on the blue tee, and I crushed the fucking ball down the fairway using my three-wood. I was only a five-iron away from the hole, and I dropped it into the cup in three strokes. The next whole was a fucking par-three dogleg, with a sandtrap three-hundred yards down the fairway. I slice the ball off the tee and drive it right into the sand, dammit. I knew that was going to happen. So I'm sitting in the sand and I take my wedge out, thinking I'll pitch that fucker onto the green -- but after two chops, I'm just pushing sand around. So, five holes go by, and I'm shooting the worst round of my life. I mean, it started out well, but the fucking ball keeps landing in the salad. At one point, I'm nearly standing on top of a dead squirrel to chip my fucking ball out from between two trees -- the way the ball was going, I'd be lucky to finish 18 holes by sunset. But then I get this one hole that's set beyond a water hazard, and I smack the ball clear over the water -- at least 250 yards, and I got it with my three-iron. I was practically in a position to just tap it into the cup with as close as I got it to the pin. I tell you, right at that point, the whole round changed because my short game picked right up and....