It's NYU move-in day!
OMG! I can't believe summer is, like, OVER ALREADY! OMG!!11! So here I am, walking on the sidewalk of a NEW YORK STREET finally, since I first dreamed about it like 5!! years ago!! I SO WANTED to go to school in NEW YORK, OMG, and I made it my first application, after MSU, UT, Carolina, Sarah Lawrence, Berkeley... and, oh yeah, Tallahassee Junior College! OMG, and I totally GOT IN! On the first try! W00T!
My essay totally helped, because it was about the poor body image stereotypes TOTALLY projected by THE HILLS on MTV, and not only because it's like my favorite show (guilty pleasure you guys!) but because I REALLY, really, believe cutting is BAD!!1! I had a fat friend in seventh grade named Meghan and she was fat and a cutter, and she totally moved away from school because she kept getting PICKED ON by some other BITCHES at school. She was pretty boring, and it was probably a good thing that she moved because no one really EVEN LIKED her. So I P/M wrote the same assignment the school guidance counselors made the FIVE OF US all write in detention for a week. It's not like we were even the ONLY ONES to tease that fat cow, and it was TOTALLY Jenna's fault anyway.
So, OMG!!1 Here I am! The first thing I WANT TO TOTALLY DO is go get some New York pizza from S'BARROS you guys. I even think I saw a black man over there, and he KIND OF looked like SEAN KINGSTON (OMG) but it looked like he was in sandals, you guys! Totally GROSS and I was creeped out by the way he kept looking at MY MOM! The career counselors said I should BE CAREFUL about PEOPLE in New York (especially PUERTO RICANS! OMG it's so racist of me to say BUT IT'S true!!), and not talk to anyone. I'm so glad to see that girl over there with the same jeweled FLIP-FLOPS as I have that I got from ABERCROMBIE back home. OMG!! I wonder where SHE'S GOING TO LIVE! OMG, this is so exciting! I'm so glad dad gave me a CREDIT CARD while I'm here! I don't know how I'd be able to buy those SEVEN FOR ALL MANKIND jeans I need, totes.
But OMG, you GUYS, I'm TOTALLY gonna miss you!! For SEERS! You guys! I'm going to MISS you, Lizzie, and Madison, and Nevaeh, and Nina, and Mary-lynn, and Alexandra, and Hunter, and Skylar, and and Karoline, and Kelleeieeiie, and Stepheniee, and Luxor, and Dendur, and you too, Hrothgar, and Balleen, and Encephalopod, and Tranquilizer, and Metastasis, and Calypso, and Ion, and Valtrex, and Hu Jintao, and ALSO TOTALLY you, Donald SUTHERLAND! W00T W00T! OMG!!11!1!
I'll never forget you guys, not even in 3 weeks when I'm into giving a COERCED, THANKLESS handjob to some drunk guy with acne from Palatine, Illnois, who's wearing an eyeshade in the back of a dorm laundry room! OMG!! I'm going to have SUCH MEMORIES, these are TOTALLY the best years of my life! I'm totally going to go CLAIRE DANES on this place! Watch out Empire State Building and Mayor Giuliani!