Sunday, September 30, 2007

Homosexual agenda

Taste a cum, originally uploaded by americancaesar.

Seen on the Long Island Rail Road earlier today: From my vantage point, this sign was an advertisement to "TASTE A CUM." Is this a subliminal message from the semen flavoring industry (henceforth known as "Big Load") to get us to buy some of their fine novelty products? More importantly, I hardly think it's acceptable to go around advertising to children (who are the future, in case anyone missed the song) that they should get a good shot of reproductive jam on their tongues just to give ejaculate a chance in the old "sexual preference" department?

For the record, it was TERRIBLE. I can recommend it to no one, and don't make the same mistake I did today... or, for that matter, last week, when I saw a sign on the N train that said "PUT YOUR FACE IN POO, JACKASS."

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Writing on the wall

Fuck men, originally uploaded by americancaesar.

Interesting only because it hadn't rained for about two weeks up to that point, here was a dirty car with the classic bromide "FUCK MEN" written across the hood. It is attributed to a person named "Mon que." I don't know who that is. I do, however, wish this was like a lost episode of "Turbo Teen" wherein the titular hero meets up with a grouchy Toyota who has read too much Susan Faludi. There would be no magic and no adventure, just a six-cylinder tired of earning 78 cents on the dollar to every buck a man makes.

And isn't the auto right, after all?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Kathy Griffin won a Creative Arts Emmy the other day for her little shingle she runs over at the E! Network -- good for her. However, in her acceptance speech, she got all smartass-y (which we like) and said:

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Jesus can suck it! This award is my god now!"

Like clockwork, William "Cakehole" Donohue of the Catholic League came out a-swinging:

"Kathy Griffin's remarks are vulgar, in-your-face brand of hate speech.... and we call on the TV academy to denounce Griffin's obscene and blasphemous comment."

Obscene and blasphemous comment, you say? Oh, Griffin's bit wouldn't sound anything like these, would they?:

I will stake my reputation on it right now! People will be paralyzed when they see this movie [The Passion of the Christ]. They will be breathless. It will bring people back to the church, and it will be a good thing for Catholics and Jews. And the people who are clamoring this -- this rhetoric, this cacophony against Mel Gibson, boy, are they going to have to pay for it when it's all over!
[CNN, Paula Zahn Now, 2/4/04]

The fact of the matter is the media elite have an aversion to religion. Some of them even have a phobia and some of them are obviously anti-religion. ... They want Tom, Dick, and Harry to get married. They want "under God" out of the pledge of allegiance. They don't want anybody to see The Passion of the Christ. It's all tied together.
[MSNBC, Scarborough Country, 2/24/04]

After all, 15-year-olds, they go to abortionists. They get their babies killed without parental consent. The new Puritans [those criticizing The Passion of the Christ] don't seem to worry about that. They like gay sex. They like [the film] The Dreamers, a brother and sister who bathe together and stuff like that. The same people in The New York Times who say this movie, I don't think it's not really right for kids, they have no problems when it comes to sodomy. It's smoking they don't like and Catholicism.
[MSNBC, Scarborough Country, 2/25/04]

Name for me a book publishing company in this country, particularly in New York, which would allow you to publish a book which would tell the truth about the gay death style. There are certain things that the left won't tolerate. They are censorial at heart. Indeed, the signature appetite of the left has always been power. Now, they are running up against the American people.
[MSNBC, Scarborough Country, 2/27/04]

Well, first they said it [The Passion of the Christ] was anti-Semitic. That didn't work. Then they said it was too violent. That didn't work. Then they said it was S & M. That didn't work. Then they said it was pornography. That didn't work. Now they're saying it's fascistic queer-bashing. That kind of language would ordinarily get somebody taken away in a straitjacket and -- put you in the asylum. I don't know what about -- the queer-bashing is all about. I'm pretty good about picking out who queers are and I didn't see any in the movie. I'm usually pretty good at that.
[MSNBC, Scarborough Country, 3/12/04]

There's nobody in the United States Senate who has a more radical voting record on abortion than John Kerry. He's never found an abortion that he couldn't justify. ... Well, first of all, the guy [Kerry] is an idiot. He doesn't even know there never was a [Pope] Pius XXIII in the first place.
[MSNBC, Scarborough Country, 4/12/04]

Well, no. I'm saying if a Catholic votes for Kerry because they support him on abortion rights that is to cooperate in evil.
[MSNBC, Hardball, 10/21/04]

We've already won. Who really cares what Hollywood thinks? All these hacks come out there. Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular. It's not a secret, okay? And I'm not afraid to say it. ... Hollywood likes anal sex. They like to see the public square without nativity scenes. I like families. I like children. They like abortions. I believe in traditional values and restraint. They believe in libertinism. We have nothing in common. But you know what? The culture war has been ongoing for a long time. Their side has lost.
[MSNBC, Scarborough Country, 12/8/04]

This same guy [Dean Hamer] came up with this idea of the gay gene. I remember when that conversation was going on. Gays were all of a sudden worrying if people would start aborting kids when they found out the DNA suggested the kid might be gay or God forbid, we'd run out of little gay kids, so all of a sudden, they became pro-life.
[MSNBC, Scarborough Country, 12/14/04]

What Bill Donohue wants to believe is that it's OK to pillory queers and hymies, but you can't lay a hand on good ol' fashioned white Catholics now, right? Because they are an endangered species as far as cultural phenomena go these days...

[Ed. note: Research c/o of MediaMatters.]

Wednesday, September 05, 2007


I need you to do me a favor, Steve. I want you to peel a few hundred dollar bills off that wad in your back pocket and buy a fucking tailored sportcoat, you douche. While you're out, can you buy a decent pair of black leather loafers too?

The man who invented the iPhone doesn't get to wear a Gap floor-person's uniform to keynotes.