Wednesday, May 23, 2007


Hi! I'm Maximillian, the psycho mute robot from Disney's not-so-successful 1979 space opus, "The Black Hole," and I'm running for president!

This promises to be a long, drawn-out affair, so I'm appealing to you, the ardent supporters, for your help in spreading the word. Your volunteer efforts and your tax-deductible donations will mean the world to my campaign. Once we get the message out to our base -- the hard-working Americans who make this country great -- that a cold, steel talon-tipped homicidal death machine is running for the highest office in the land, then job will be to win over swing voters... hearts and minds, and all that. And once that crucial group, the so-called "undecideds", are on board with voting for an emotionless, crimson instrument of harm, then we'll have the momentum to overturn the traditional party politics and actually change things in Washington!

My opponents have already started slinging mud in this early campaign -- they spread lies about me having hacked Anthony Perkins' insides to pulp with my spinning handblades, and that I intended malice towards the human and robot crew of the Palomino, including VINC.E.N.T. and Ernest Borgnine. Well, to those detractors, I heartily say... actually, those stories are true. I killed Perkins at the behest of my master, Dr. Hans Reinhardt, and I daresay I would puree any of those that the master said was a threat to our experiments aboard the Cygnus.

So, I ask, my fellow Americans, if you are looking for a change from the "business as usual" politics of Washington and its swelling bureaucracy and partisan gridlock, there is only one name you need to remember come November 11, 2008 -- Maximillian, the relentless killing automaton! Let's send a message to the Senate, and the American people, that only together can we successfully dismember interfering scientist-explorers down to a viscous slurry with our razor-sharp arm-rotors.

Let's make a difference! Maximillian in 2008!