Thursday, July 06, 2006

New anxiety

I just got done clipping my thumbnail (one of the Salad's more obscure compulsions is the constant surveillance of his fingernails) when I noticed the stamping in the metal base: "KOREA."

What? Who? Omigod! I bought a product made in Korea, but there is no hint as to which Korea it was milled in -- North or South.

This is a huge gamble. I may have unknowingly fed the rapacious, corrupt regime of Kim Jong Il with my insatiable need to maintain a constant fingernail length. Damn my want to cheaply-produced foreign-made goods! Damn this global interrelated world commerce paradigm!

For all I know, I may have enabled Kim to buy a bottle of Dom Perignon to smash over the nosecone of one of those Taipodong ICBMs. I may have personally jeopardized the safety of the entire West Coast, Japan, and South Korea.

Damn these fingernails... damn my hygienic fixations!