Austrian real estate

Natascha Kampusch, the 18-year-old Austrian girl at the center of the creepy kidnapper story, just gave her first interview with German TV about the travail, and among the details she discussed was the 65-foot windowless cellar she spent the last eight years in at the hands of Teutonic loonie Wolfgang Priklopil.

I hate to be the first to point this out, but if that dank prison had been located on the island of Manhattan it would have had a substantial dollar value attached to it as either a co-op or a luxury rental. Some douschebag developer would get Philippe Starck to design concrete grotto chic furnishings -- maybe a little spray-paint mandala, that kind of thing -- and then toss it out into the world and wait for Ethan Hawke to bite.

What's more, that girl lived rent-free for eight years; she was also unemployed, to boot. Can you imagine that kind of cushy free-ride? It's time to rejoin society, Inga -- you need to learn about a little thing we like to call "das free market."