No danger to Man

Lessee... no fingers lost. No drill holes in lower extremities. No dental damage via errant power tool. Christmas is still on, and the pope still shits in the woods.

Hosannah -- the Salad was able to install a pair of hooks in the so-called "liquor closet" for his shwife's hat- and bag-hanging purposes.

Things of this nature are referred to "handyman's tasks," insofar as they only require hands. Which I have -- three of them, in fact. As a victim of a terrible congenital birth defect, I'm required by societal decorum to sheathe the superfluous, constantly-grasping manum in an empty Pringles tube -- nature's counter to an overgrabby hand.