Wednesday, September 06, 2006


As a modern woman, I don't take my choices lightly. There's a lot of chi-chi fluff out there which serves to debase me as a female, all the more reason to be vigilant throughout the day. That's why I've elected to only associate myself with things that empower me.

For instance, I refuse to touch any brand of chocolate confection aside from Chick Chocolates. Why? Well, because they take the time to understand what kind of chocolate I need as a modern, empowered woman.

Take their word for it:

For women, chocolate is more than just something to eat. We love, crave, enjoy, inhale and obsess about chocolate. Consuming chocolate can make women feel happy and satisfied, with ingredients, many say, that simulate the chemical reaction experienced when falling in love. We recognize ourselves in chocolate: dark, rich, nutty, creamy, light and fun. We love good quality chocolate, and we don’t like to compromise in taste. We eat chocolate regularly, often daily. For women, chocolate is more than a food choice, it’s a relationship.

You see? This isn't just another ludicrous consumer product that contributes to fossil fuel consumption in its production and hectares of post-consumer landfill waste from the excess packaging -- this candy is a statement that says we're gonna stand for the old way of doing things. Compromise is out the door -- Susan B. Anthony, Susan Sontag, Gloria Steinem, and the rest of them didn't work tirelessly on our behalf so we could just pop any shitty candy into our gobs.

Remember them, and remember what we've gained. Our status as empowered women depends on these fucking chocolates.