Who named this?

I know it was the Earl of Sandwich, but who decided that the word "sandwich" should stick? That was a concious effort. I mean, there are so many better ways to name things, and I just feel like it's a cop-out to pick some jagoff's last name (or landed title in this case) and just call it a day when some mahfuck decides to squeeze together some of Duke of Prosciutto's lunchmeat between two slices of Lord Pumpernickel's bread. Think about it -- what if that glass of water was named after Sir Cedric Water? Or, what if that wall you have your cool blacklight posters on was originally named after Count Eadweard of Wall? I want descriptive nouns from now on, not bullshit proper names of long-dead syphillitic barons from Middle England. Latin, Greek, Sumerian -- linguistically, it's all a step up.

What this nomenclature issue really relates to is the tremendous amount of anxiety related to a promotion I'm about to receive at work, and how that plays into all my paternal issues in terms of being a manager of men, and the responsibility for their professional well-being and general temperament in the workplace.

I'm not cut out for this! I had a really poor father figure for a father growing up, and it's a snakebitten situation asking me to graduate to a position of authority, when I have no template for how to conduct myself in such a role. I'm so afraid of transmitting all my character flaws as a person onto my fellow workers -- friends -- for/to whom I'm responsible.

This is the same ball of wax I've dealt with in thinking about my potential as a parent... a poor parent, which I most certainly would be. Which is why I'm standing next to the microwave at gonad-level as I type this, in hopes of a quick-and-easy sterilization.