Confessions

Have you ever found yourself manning the register of a drive-through convenience store? Have you ever found yourself doing this for three years to kick off college? Have you ever found yourself seeing some sideways wisdom in what Kevin Smith had to talk about back in 1994? Have you ever had 65 eggs tossed at you by an ill-tempered hausfrau with an inscrutable accent? Have you ever found yourself listening to a 71-year-old man explain how "the only place he can get a hard-on is in the ice cream freezer"? Have you ever come to work to pick up your check a mere half-hour after your fellow clerk was robbed at screwdriver-point? Ever find yourself charging the register for a carton of smokes after ten nico-addicts buy single packs, and pocketing the difference? Ever had a lax mother threaten her misbehaving child by saying "That man will hit you if you don't behave"?