Quotation marks

In the fifth grade, we were all going on a class-wide camping trip to Yaphank, NY. The only perq of the trip was a baseball cap with our names calligraphied on the brim in silver sharpie. When it came time to tell the calligrapher my name, I said I wanted the hat to read, "'Bill,' in quotation marks. It's a pun."

My teacher, Mrs. Donegan, looked at me grimly and said no.

My best friend back then, Tony, said, "Fuck you and your quotation marks."