Dental, damn

When going for a new toofbrush, why fuck around? What are you going to do, score one of those Duane Reade cheapies? Fuck that, and if you do that, it speaks poorly of your character. What's your problem, anyway? if that's your attitude towards dental health, you must have a long list of unmentionable personal hygiene ills, like anal fissures. Poor bastard.

Brah, gossa go for the Oral-B. They got this one that has this little ridge for "gum stimulation," like a little jackrabbit vibrator for your gingiva. Hot shit – they even have this one with a color strip that wears away with increased use, so you're not rubbing some busted-ass brush over your pearlies.

I like that kind of care. Put me down for Oral-B, and put the wife down too. I'm in charge of brush-buying in the house, so what I say goes. Few things are as important as plaque-prevention to me.