Idiot photographer

The idiot photographer that my newspaper employs is out shooting the big Derby-like-thingie in Louisville, Ky., and has but one objective at the track -- to take a clear, well-lit photo of uber-betty Petra Nemcova, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue model and cling-to-a-tree-in-a-tsunami survivor.

How can you screw this assignment up? Well, leave it to the moron with the 8 million megapixel camera.