Wednesday, May 31, 2006


Why can't I do a Google Image Search for the word "tentacle" without returning 12 pages of tentacle-rape hentai porn?

Go ahead and try it yourself. I'll wait while you're gone. No, I'm serious. Try it out for yourself -- witness the depravity with your own eyes. I'll just be right here.

Hmm hmm.... mmm-bop... hmm hmmm... I'm a survivor, not gon' give up, not gon' stop.... hmmm hmmm

Oh, you're back! See what I mean? I just want to score a rendering of a goddamn tentacle without vaginal penetration, but I'm fuck out of luck. What if I was just trying to pull together a Lovecraftian thing in Photoshop? There's no way Chthulu has pussy on his mind -- he's an elder god, for chrissakes!

And why did mankind ever unite the vagina and the tentacle? Aside from male-female receptor shapes, what could these elements possibly have in common with one another? Some sick bastard in Shibuya must have figured that the only way to bring together his love of the prone, debased female form and the octopod limb was to render it himself in the manga style.

Maybe I'm not asking the right question -- why is the penis/human fist/mechanical device not good enough for that guy's penetration fantasies? Why an encephalopod?