Monday, February 27, 2006

Doughy Douschebag Hour

Have you seen this man? Maybe you don't recognize him, but perhaps you might have seen the unholy nightmare he's responsible for -- "Boondock Saints." This gladly-forgotten mistake from 1999 was a derivative pile of shit that's a rip-off of every rip-off QT gleefully cops to -- all without QT's self-awareness. Somehow, the doughy fuck in question, Troy Duffy, America's most loathesome bar-back/anonygrunge guitarist/amateur screenwriter/full-time cocksmoker, happened to get to the head of the line in 1997 when Harvey and Bob were handing out development deals to entitled, overfed, suburban gobshites who all thought they were the next Bob Rafelson.

The reason any of this is worth rehashing is because two old chums of his cut a documentary called "Overnight" from the thousands of hours of video they'd shot following Duffy around, recording him acting like a douschenozzle. Their film was supposed to be a victory lap at "breaking in," but instead, it becomes a bitterness-tinged deconstruction of how Duffy destroyed his (and his sibling's) own best shot at film/music success by sabotaging his deals and antagonizing his industry allies at every turn (yet, gauging by his lack of talent, "success" was hardly ever guaranteed to begin with).

Granted, this whole sordid story is, as we say, inside baseball, it's interesting because there are any number of doughy white dudes (present company included) who would've CHEWED THROUGH AIRCRAFT-GRADE TITANIUM to get a shot like Duffy did -- and short of that, we desire with each centimeter of our blackened, oil-filled hearts to watch him fail. Disgustingly and utterly.