One morning...

*slap of a briefcase closing*

"Okeydoke honey, I have to go to work now. Boy, these unflavored oats were just delicious."

*smooch*

"Can't wait to get home and kiss you when I come home from work tonight and we'll have spaghetti and meatballs with the kids. The dog will run up to me and the whole world will be, well, it'll be just swell!"

*click of the door opening*

"Bye bye honey, I love you.... hey, what's that?"

"OH MY GOD! FUCKING CHRIST! AAARRRGGHHHH! I'M ON ON FIRE! AAARRRGGGHHHH FUCK! SWEET MERCILESS URINE-FILLED HELL! OH MY GOD! ARRGGHHH! SWEET LORD ON A FUCKING HOT DOG BUN! I'M BURNED DOWN TO THE FUCKING BONES! OH SWEET RELEASE OF ENDLESS PAIN AND THE UNDYING HEAT OF A THOUSAND RED DWARF STARS SEARED INTO MY DAMNED FLESH! OH GOD! AAAARRGGGGHHH! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S NAMELESS AND UNHOLY, I AWAIT THE ICY KISS OF THE REAPER! AAARRGGHH! IT BURNS! BURNS MY FLESH! ENDLESS AGONY!"