Listen to reason
Six hours ago, mounting a treadmill getting ready to work out...
Me: Okay, body, it's time to wake up. Four miles, you little... skirt-wearing girl... thingie. That's it -- four miles. You can do this.
Me: I don't think so.
Me: What?
Me: Nah. Not gonna happen.
Me: Wait, I give the orders around... me.
Me: Go ahead.
Me: Urghh... umph.... urk...
Me: Not gonna happen. Not gonna do it... nah-gah-daht.
Me: Oh that's so timely -- Carvey from like, 13 years ago.
Me: Yeah, well... you have the brain part up there. I have the spleen and shit.
Me: Enough of this -- let's get the move on. Let's get our run on, bitch! Let's do this damn thing! Yeah!
Me: No to the izz-ope.
Me: Run! Lift legs! Over and over! Repeat! C'mon, you little sissy... you little... vagina-having woman! Let's run this shit up! What, are you late for your gynecologist appointment? You... vagina-haver!
Me: Hmmmmmno. Nice with all that misogyny, by the way. Sure the wife'll be crazy about that.
Me: Please!? -- I gave you that whole potato last night! Remember that? Mmm, nice, tasty potato!
Me: BUUUUUT -- you poisoned me with beer and bourbon, and then stayed up until 1:15 in the a.m. shooting Russians in the head playing "Metal Gear Solid 2."
Me: All right, you win....
THUD!
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