Guru

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

Wow, that's great advice, mule.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

I feel much better about that decision now.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

No, I don't think so. It looks like a good place to work for a little while longer, at least.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

Whoa, you think I need to lose a few pounds?

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

I just bought those pants!

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

You're right. I should have taken you shopping with me.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

But pilates classes are too expensive for my budget.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

I don't know, mule, I'm kinda short of cash right now. I wasn't looking to do any investing at the moment.

snort...

I'm not comfortable picking stocks... I have poor financial savvy.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

O.K., O.K., mule, I'll do it. If you're really sure about this.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

That's a weird question. Um, two girlfriends in the last ten years.

grunt...

No, I take great care of my teeth.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

I seriously doubt it's my haircut... I mean, I haven't changed it in a while.

*poot*

People say I have a nice personality. I'm very "nonthreatening." Actual comment I heard, once.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

There's no room for steroids in my training regimen, mule. It's like eating poison.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

Of course I want people to like me. That's why I'm pouring my heart out to a pack animal.

snort...

You have yet to be wrong, mule. I'll give you that.

EEEEE-UUURHHH!

One carrot, coming right up. Mule, you're like the furry, vaguely feculent uncle I never had. As opposed to the one I did have.