Howdy neighbor! I was just... BLAM!

There was a delightful story in the New Jork Times jesterday about a number of states expanding their "shoot first" laws. The first time I heard about this was when Florida started cooking its own law up -- in short, you no longer need to flee when a lethal threat comes along. You can shoot first if you have the inkling of a threat. Also, it seems, you can shoot merely to defend property, even if no life is at stake.

Awesome! What could possibly go wrong?

The article goes on to talk about some specific cases of people who were gunned down, and how their murders were never prosecuted or even investigated. The word of the shooter is good enough for Jeb Bush's people.

Again, awesome! Aaaasphynctersezwut?

The best part was the dude who was shooted by a neighbor while arguing over placement of garbage bags on the curb. If mis-sorting recyclables isn't grounds for excusable attempted homicide, then I don't even want to live in your forsaken, blighted, cultureless, exurban hellscape!