In dreams

I had a dream last night where I'm driving along a busy road with my brother, and as we come over a hill we see a jumbo jetliner flying low overhead. It's in distress, and trying to land on the road. What's most disconcerting is how slowly it's moving in the air.

We watch the massive object fly over and past us and start to touch down on the asphalt. But, before the wheels can make contact, the plane explodes. The entire thing immolates and ruptures, from wheel to wing.

As I stand by watching it, I'm not struck by a feeling of miserable disaster, but rather spectacle. As in, holy shit, I can't believe I just watched that. When I woke up, I realized how weirdly satisfying it would be to witness something massive like that in real life. Horrifying, yes -- but also bearing a strange you are there component in the balance.

My stepfather is a former city fireman, and he's witnessed TWO plane crashes, aside from 9/11. Two crashes -- I wonder if you feel blasé after crash number two.