Simcoe Day

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past fortnight, you have to be aware that today is Simcoe Day, bitches. Yes, the one time of year that our neighbors to the north, the Canadish, honor the legacy of one John Graves Simcoe, the former Lt. Governor of Upper Canada from 1791-1796. And rest assured, he did... a lot... of stuff. Worth celebrating.

So, do the traditional things that... Upper... Canadians... do, and grab a handful of whale blubber and some lacrosse sticks and venture on out to Thunder Bay. There, you will be required to rock out to the dulcet tones of Randy Bachman and his Turner Overdrive, all the while engaging in group-wondering over why there isn't a man like Pierre Trudeau around to fix the mess we're all in.

Simchas Simcoe!