Piano, swordsmanship

I figure two completely useless skills to have would be swordsmanship and competency at the piano. I've always thought highly of piano players, and I enjoy it's sound. I have this Walter Mitty-type fantasy where I can picture my fingers crawling dextrously across ivory keys, creating a rolling, speedy sound like that "Shine" guy playing that song that people... sorta... remember him for. About bumblebees, I think. Except I go all metal and start banging out ELP's "Brain Salad Surgery" album, including all three Impressions of "Karn Evil 9."

The swordist angle is all about doing that swing-twirl thingie that you see movie sword-guys do, spinning the blade on their left, and then across their torso onto the right. I also figure such an ability would allow me to plug deeper into my appreciate of the GZA's "Liquid Swords" album.