Monday, January 02, 2006

Shovelfuls of dirt

Ah, Virginia Heffernan, you wield the cannulating needle so deftly as you begin to poke around for Dick Clark's carotid artery, to thusly begin his embalming. Heffernan writes that Dick is like "the couchbound relative who, maudlin and exhausted, weeps at how lucky he is to be around his family one more year." The post-game watercooler chatter here at work also has a distinctly anti-Clarkian aroma, wherein people don't wanna to look at the old man slurring on teevee, post-stroke - as if there's something shameful about his condition.

Did Kirk Douglas not get up at the ’96 Oscars and drool out a post-stroke acceptance speech for his honorary Oscar? Did he not tug heartstrings everywhere? Did he not go on to film "Diamonds" with Jenny McCarthy?