Welcome little Suri into the world!

Katie Holmes gave birth to Tom Cruise's daughter today, a little tot named Suri (photo to the left). Let's all extend a hearty welcome to the little bundle of joy into the world, as the child is sure to have a good run within the insulated fold of Scientology's grasp.

Mother and daughter are resting comfortably, passing the time until the baby is old enough to destroy the volcano foundry the Thetans were culled into thousands of years ago.

Go get 'em, Molasar! Er, I mean, Suri!

What the hell is a suri?